When Tom Peters warned employees that, "Only those who constantly retool themselves stand a chance of staying employed in the years ahead," he was not necessarily recommending that people work on developing their Emotional Quotient (EQ) in the light of a global economic downturn…

Many international and South African companies are having to make tough decisions regarding which members of their workforce to retain and which to retrench. They are realising that it is as important to consider EQ, alongside IQ and technical know-how, when coming to a decision.

Personnel with well developed interpersonal skills are easier to work with, are good for creating and maintaining client relations and for generating new business.

They may not like everybody they come into contact with in a business environment, but they know how to work well with other people in order to get their jobs done.

So how can we learn to develop really effective interpersonal skills and increase our EQ in the process?

Interpersonal skills are our most important asset
Our ability to network effectively is our most important business advantage, and the good news is that everyone is capable of developing their emotional competence.

Attending a Workplace Communication Skills or Ease into EQ training course could help you to identify the strengths and weaknesses of your own communication style.

Internal business communication with colleagues, fellow team members and across departments has to be a two-way process in order for it to be effective.

Delegates who have attended such courses have discovered that they had acquired bad listening habits over the years; partly because they listened solely for facts and not for feelings, but also because they spent their ‘listening time’ formulating their own responses.

The development of pro-active listening skills encourages speakers to be more articulate and listeners more engaged, which also makes a huge difference when dealing with suppliers and customers.

Self-management is the foundation for better work relations
‘What you don’t recognise, you can’t manage…’ write Steven Stein and Howard Book in The EQ Edge: Emotional Intelligence and your success, Kogan Page, UK, 2001.

These writers recommend that when we are faced with potential office conflict situations, that we identify those feelings which get in the way of us connecting with others.

We may not be able to control their behaviour, but we can control our reactions to them. Encourage the other person to speak first, and give yourself a chance to gain your composure and gather your thoughts. Listen carefully and actively to what they have to say; do not interrupt, nor try to formulate a defence or retort.

Once you have ascertained how the other person is feeling and what they want to get out of the interaction, you can move onto outlining your position and responses.

Adapt your communication style to suit the person and the situation
Adopting the right approach from the beginning makes a world of difference to the outcome. Know what it is that you want to achieve before you begin the communication process. If you know where you are going, you stand a greater chance of getting there.

The next step is to get on the same wave length as the other person, by finding common ground. Once we know what style of communication we tend to use, we are more aware of what we are good at and what we are not so good at.

Identifying the communication mode of the person we are dealing with, will give you a better idea of how the other person thinks and how s/he is likely to communicate with you.

Once you are able to become more flexible by adapting your communication style to deal differently with different people and in various situations, you will be on your way towards more effective interaction.

Be straightforward, but polite
• Whether your communication should we rather say communication here in this context? is face-to-face, over the telephone or via e-mail, choose your words carefully as you state your position. Focus on using phrases like, ‘I feel…’, rather than using generalisations and accusations. They are far more constructive, and less likely to provoke an emotive retort

• Do not beat about the bush – be firm, direct and specific to ensure that your message and stand point is understood

• Keep an even, polite tone, stand your ground and remain calm

• No matter how frustrated you are, avoid swearing , as it tends to incite other people

• Concentrate on trying to rectify the problem or finding a solution or a compromise that everyone can live with

• Listen objectively for any truth in criticism directed at you. This may include admitting your mistakes, or choosing to ignore unfair or subjective attacks

• Being direct, but respectful, is the difference between being assertive and retaining your poise, instead of being tactless and aggressive. This will ensure that you keep communication channels open, even with people you don’t like.

When you utilise your emotional intelligence in your dealings with business associates, you are developing your emotional capital. Your ability to get along with people of all kinds will enable you to build a strong network of cooperative, mutually beneficial relationships, and increase your value as a company asset.

For more information, visit Options in Training online.

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